photo and image by the author
The causes of bulimia are present before a person starts to purge. The causes of bulimia may go but the purging can persist. Like PTSD it’s a direct result of something traumatic or a traumatic long term situation. I would say it is a form of PTSD.
Getting help for someone can be tricky because often the ones wanting to help or intervene can be the root cause or part of the problem. It’s just the way it is.
An often repeated partial truth is that bulimics are doing this binge and purge of food in an effort to exert control. Bulimia can be part of a power struggle, for sure. This way of expressing it is a bit backwards, I think. It may be better expressed that the person has had their autonomy either never established or they feel helpless over things that are ongoing. Feeling not listened to or overrun by others is a hallmark. The reason a person becomes bulimic are always very personal. Generally or in a particular way or setting, the binge and purge are part of a way to feel in control, but, never giving actual control. It’s really self punishment over not being able to change what one cannot. Punishment for the sake of punishment either not received or a feeling of never having been forgiven for deeds done or made up. The past haunts in some way. Shakespeare may have gotten it correctly with “Out damned spot”.
There is always a change point not seen and lie the bulimic tells herself is it will never be better. If authority can be gained and acknowledged, the cycle can be interrupted and changed.
Like PTSD, bulimics can be “triggered” in a situation that leads to the urge to eat and barf. If you can become aware of the triggers as they happen, understanding and change can happen. Triggers are often external and can be avoided. Big life changes might be in order to make that happen. Big. Job, school, living situation. Career. Big. Bulimia is big, too, and needs to go. Problems will always exist in life but bulimia does not have to be part of how problems are dealt with.
It’s worth mentioning that anyone upset can feel sick to their stomach and the natural feelings of upset can cause the tummy to contract and feel too full, playing into the desire to empty the stomach. Food disorders are challenging because we all do need food, several times a day.
Eating disorders may be linked together so an anorexic can also be bulimic. Drugs, alcohol, sex are also no stranger in these quarters but make no mistake, remove the problem and things always get better, which can upend ones life.
Most bulimics are women and most don’t have food security as a problem. It’s a problem of the well to do. A competitive nature or being in a work or art field that requires looking a certain way to excel is typical to bulimia, but there are no strict guides as bulimics are often not thin or particularly attractive.
Secrecy is an overlooked part of this wreckage. So, you know there is shame. Shame of what one is done and doing and shame is a strong trigger for many. A bad moment in a mirror or critical words from the right person can start the process and down one goes. The package of emotional spiraling can’t be overstated.
This short article is meant to go to one person in particular who asked about my thoughts. I’m offering them here in case they may make even a small difference in someones life. Obviously, this is not meant to be help with diagnosis or treatment and I am not a doctor or health pro. This offer of opinion is simply that, a too well informed opinion, but, just the opinion of this one small voice.
To any and all that see this and wish to reach out, please do. If I can be helpful, I will.