The American Wedding
Emily Post has left the room
Anyone looking for a timeline of life cleanse in the last day or two, may have picked up on Tiffany Trump’s wedding at Mar a Lago yesterday. Not a fan of Floridian style or of the Trump’s, I looked in anyway, since on a personal note, my husband and I have just retired (like two weeks ago) from floristry.
Bryant and Beatta, a favorite couple from our album of Sedona weddings. Their delightful daughter is now about six.
Weddings have been a focus for years but more so as the daily flower business has been very affected by the pandemic along with shipping problems. Weddings are unique flower occasions, being planned in advance becoming a larger part of our focus. Our shop was in Sedona, one of the most beautiful landscapes in the United States, a mecca for hikers, photographers and weddings.
Many years ago, planning a wedding looked more like a battle plan with sides and responsibilities and timelines and do’s and don’ts that sent those in the know, into a rage (if compliance to said rules was poor) and those who don’t seem to care about the rules, into the doghouse.
The wedding bible was written by Emily Post and was up dated every few years to reflect the changing role of tradition in American life. Updates and peoples views of the rules in general waned. It seems the industry got with what people really wanted and what that is, not necessarily in order of importance: the ring, the dress, the party, photos and flowers. Interestingly, these items can be stuffed into “an elopement” or expanded nicely into a venue filled with friends, family, flowers, food and some alcohol as lubrication. I know, we helped, hundreds of times.
The American wedding of today is rarely in a church, chapel or synagogue. It more often takes place at an area in a hotel, or event “venue”. This makes transportation from the wedding to reception seamless and also much less hassle for everyone. Outdoor weddings are also particularly welcome for destinations where vows are exchanged on beaches, mountaintops, backyards, waterfalls, and other scenic destinations.
Tiffany’s wedding at Mar a Lago fits the modern template. So does her walk down the aisle through hoops of pastel hydrangea, coming together in an optical illusion of a gigantic arbor in colored framing. Her bouquet was tiny, a nod to European style of royalty, while her silver white dress was a modern wedge of gauzy yet stiffened fabric. Off white to silver, off white to a blushy pink are both to be found in bridal salons everywhere from NY to LA and why not? Queen Victoria is the one that made the white wedding gown popular to begin with. Not everyone loves that look but still, variations are rare.
The small bouquet appears in a lot of celebrity weddings. A guess is that celebrities want their photos to feature them. Bouquets as ladies seem to like them today are quite large and wedding all white has broken out in to a riot of colors. Perhaps to stand out at a commanding landscape or view. I sold ‘em, I made ‘em, I didn’t ask why. Brides in the early 1970’s seemed to go for a yellow rose and babies breath nosegay, a small grouping in a doily or lace holder. In the turn of the previous century, abundant greens, flowing myrtle in almost hedge like proportions were popular. Like so much of life it’s just a fashion or preference. Then again, there have been a few preggers brides with large bouquets for camouflage.
The white dress, once thought to be a symbol of the new in the box virginity of the woman being married, todays brides are, generally, women of experience and white is worn as a tradition of the day rather than about the woman. Bridesmaids dresses have also had an overhaul in thought as many brides choose a color or spectrum of color and have the bridesmaids choose a gown that suits their figure. A concept that seemed illusive in the 80’s.
Ring bearers, flower girl, bridesmaids, groomsmen all disappear if the guest list is small or if there aren’t age appropriate critters available. Oh! Dogs, but oddly rarely if ever, cats can also be seen cruising down the aisle with a flowered collar. Personalization is all in the American “dream wedding” as it seems the American woman knows what she wants from for “her” day, in great detail. I applaud that, I have helped.
So soon the drinks are done, the photos taken, and the bride and groom become Mister and Mrs or whatever combination of gender have pronounced the vows. The dream evaporates to real life, the guests retreat, and flowers fade away.
Best wishes to us all, as love should always be celebrated.